


The Avengers go Grocery Shopping

by blazingstar29



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Menstruation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Tony Stark Does What He Wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 06:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19987474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazingstar29/pseuds/blazingstar29
Summary: Bruce would later blame it on his post Hulk out that he hadn’t stopped the madness before it could happen. He would also blame the lack of sleep in everyone’s behalf as the reason as to why they acted that way.Needless to say, the Avengers should not go grocery shopping at four am post fight.





	The Avengers go Grocery Shopping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kianisabitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kianisabitch/gifts).



> Hey guys! I am not putting this in the Avengers Family Fluff series as of current but that may change, let me know your thoughts!
> 
> I have also gifted this to Kianisabitch! I really love their work and from the few Tumblr conversations we have had it has been great and they have encouraged me and giving me so many ideas. I wish them the best in life, go check out their profile!!!!!

Steve, put the canned fruit down or I will smack you harder than that robot.”

“Kinky.”

Tony sighs as Steve continues to put nine cans of fruit into the trolley, “shut the fuck up Barton.” The Agent flips him off from his spot on the floor of the trolley, next to him, Natasha sits tiredly, a streak of blood covering the left side of her face. The assembled heroes watch as Tony argues with Steve about the fate of the fruit. 

“We don’t need it.”

“What if the compound were to lose power, no oven, no microwave, it’s a just in case.”

“That’s what the dry store is Steve, that’s why you made me put it in beneath the work shop!”

Steve ducks his head briefly and mumbles, Tony looks at him incredulously, “what’s that?”

“I like them okay?” Tony looks too exhausted to argue anymore, and lets Steve keep the cans. Besides, he looked like a kicked puppy. He holds them protectively for until they leave the aisle before placing them in the trolley, as to assure Tony would not sneak them away. 

The next aisle they come across is the health foods, were Bruce collects his herbs, teas and oats. He shuffles along the aisle and collects his items. As he reaches for his oats, the packet he grabbed released an avalanche of packaged oats falling and bursting of the floor. His friends freeze, Natasha sitting up alert and ready for a lullaby. To their surprise Bruce takes a long-suffering sigh turns around and leaves the mess on the floor. 

“I’m too tired to pretend I care about helping store clerks,” he admits lowering down his items. It takes a minute before they can gather the energy to continue on. Except for Thor, of course. He’s pushing the trolley and is delighting in pushing Clint and Natasha around. Dragging their feet, they find themselves going past the toiletry aisle. Natasha jolts and murmurs to Clint. 

“Thor stop,” says Clint. He eases himself out of the trolling with the balance of the agent he truly is. Once he’s out he bends down and slips an arm under Nat’s leg as she wraps her own arm around Clint’s neck. He pulls her up and sets her down, but she remains reliant on his support.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nat are you injured?” Tony rushes to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. The rest of the team frowned, concerned for their team mate. She waves him off without her normal elegance as, with the help of Clint, hobbles down the aisle to the sanitary items. With barley a glance at the selection of products she piles three packets of items into her arms. Thor spies the word menstruation and instantly recalls his sisters in Asgard.

“Ah! The curse of menstruation! My sisters in Asgard suffered from this curse. I see it effects mortals too, do your do the blood ritual?” The God asked as Clint lowered the cargo into the trolley. Tasha shook her head with a smile. “Ah well, they would collect their menstrual blood and bathe in it as to keep their youth and immunity in battles.” It was made obvious to Thor by the blank stares that Earth didn’t regard menstruation as such a blessing.   
The team was about to move on when an ungodly scream sounded. The team went stiff with anticipation.

“Peter you fucking idiot!” A voice berated loudly.

“How was I meant to know that it was going to fall!”

“It’s a pyramid of cans, off course it would fall!”

The colour drained from Tony’s face. He knew that voice, and he knew that name. With a blank look on his face he sped the short way to customer service.

“Yes, hi, need to make an announcement real quick?” The worker looked at him with no registration of how important the man was and slid over the microphone. With a deep breathe to control himself he spoke.

“Peter Parker, I swear to God, if you’re in Costco at four thirty in the fucking morning I’m going to lose my shit. Come to the service desk right now.” There was a sound of shoes squeaking on the linoleum. With a burst Peter exited the candy isle and stared at the Avengers like he was a rabbit in the head lights. Peter caught Peter’s eye and saw the kid panic. It was only recently that Peter had told him that his videos were still showing. Whilst Steve was briefly embarrassed, he also realised he had trick up his sleeve. He stared Peter right in the eye and a knowing look passed between them. 

“So, you skipped class because you stayed out partying all night. Something everyone should learn is responsibility, skipping class is not responsible and the repercussions do not out way the risk to the reward,” Steve spoke in his new reporter voice, the same one ingrained into thousands of students heads. Peter let out a scream and ran from the store whilst yelling about phycological trauma. 

The weirdness didn’t end yet. Just as Peter left the store, a tall girl with curly hair punched up on her head. She was… eating toast. She looked at the Avengers and held up something small and jangly. 

“He doesn’t realise I have the keys.” And with that she walks out the store and into the night, leaving the heroes dumbfounded at the recent turn of events. Tony groaned and sank to the floor and closed his eyes. 

“Leave me. I crave the sweet release of death.” With a smile, Steve grabs the man’s legs and drags him as he goes after his friends around the store. With any luck, the silence means he may have faintly gotten some sleep. 

“Thor, chocolate,” Tasha orders the God. They ransack the candy isle, Natasha reaches from her spot in the trolley and sweeps a whole shelf of chocolate in beside her. 

“If anyone touches it, I will forcibly remove all of your limbs,” she says darkly. 

Yes, Bruce thinks as they check out. Tony may have threatened a kid, he himself may have spilt ten kilos of oats, and Natasha may end up killing one of them, Steve may have dragged one of the smarted alive on the floor for fifteen minutes. But yes, it was an experience, one he could say decidedly: he would never do again. Sober at least.


End file.
